I hope if there are any American Christian Women out there considering marriage to a muslim man that they will think twice and save themselves the pain and heartache. If you are already in a relationship with a muslim man I hope you will share your experiences with us, good or bad.
Are you thinking about having a relationship with a Muslim man? Are you currently in a relationship with a Muslim man? Are you wondering what went wrong? Do you work with a Muslim man and wonder why he is so rude especially to women?
Most women here in the USA are really not suspicious toward these men but rather curious about their culture. Some women are simply blind sided by their charm and good looks. They will sweep you off of your feet and bend over backwards for you at first, then the deception slowly starts to creep in. It will take you by surprise at first and he will make all kinds of excuses and stories to keep you off balance until one day you realize it's not stories but just blatant lies. You can confront him but I wouldn't advise it.
The first thing you have to do is really understand how they are raised to view women and realationships with women. They look at women as being inferior almost like a slave (for a lack of a better word). What I mean by that is most of their women are at home all the time, mother,sisters,aunts all the females. When the man comes in the home all the women rush around getting food for them and basically obeying their every command, the women do what they are told to do period. This is part of their custom until they reach the age of 27-30, then it is time to find a wife in fear they maybe considered gay by the family and the community. If you are a christian a muslim man can marry you but only after the approval of the whole family, and if you are a US citizen all the better, because this elevates his status in the family which make the marriage accepted by muslim law. Jews and Muslims are not allowed to marry as well as non believers or aithest. A female muslum is not allowed to marry anyone except another muslim.
It is really hard to understand why but all the males that marry and leave their home country are under serious obligation to send money home each and every week to support their family. It doesn't matter that you may be suffering financially or having some sort of need, he will send the money regardless of what you think, after all you are a woman and your opinion doesn't count.
When it comes to money he will have the things he wants, and wear the best name brand clothes while you try to figure out how to pay the bills and the debt he is incurring for you. I have talked to other women who have lost their homes and everything they own, and in some cases had to file bankruptcy. For some sadly even that doesn't work, because once you file the I-130 form for a marriage visa you are totally responsible for him financially. If he doesn't pay his bills you have to, or at least until he becomes a bonafide US citizen. Go to www.uscis.gov to see the affidavidt of support.
When the relationships starts you may not know some of these things and they may have never even crossed your mind, but I assure you there are more people is this situation than you can imagine. The terror and fear he impales on you will come later. It is no game it is real and he will put you on an emotional roller coaster and do his level best to break you down to see things his way. As American women we don't exactly take things lying down very easily. It is extremely hard to adapt to this middle eastern culture. You can make some compromises but you can't loose yourself in the process.
This is the most racist thing I've read. You're making an assumption about all Muslim men without any evidence to support your claims. So many women have married muslim men and are happy. There are bad christian men too, should I just start going around telling everyone to stay away from all of them just because I've seen a few bad ones? The whole thing you've written is inaccurate and you clearly aren't an educated individual.
ReplyDeleteThis person is spot on and I know Because I lived it. And who are YOU to say she's uneducated? Education has NOTHING to do with the barbaric treatment that Pakistani men show women, Pakistanis aren't a race, they're a culture. Moron
DeleteThis person is spot on and I know Because I lived it. And who are YOU to say she's uneducated? Education has NOTHING to do with the barbaric treatment that Pakistani men show women, Pakistanis aren't a race, they're a culture. Moron
DeleteAs someone that’s an open minded girl and spent the last year of my life in hell. This is pretty much spot on in regards to my experience. I have tried not to generalise but the things that are described here and on several other sites, articles and forums are sadly completely in line with my own situation. I have many friends from Pakistan but I will never ever again enter a relationship with one. Sad but true
DeleteI married a Muslim. We've been married two years...the happiest years of my life. Wish I could tell you all about my abusive American "Christian husband, but we'll save that for another time
ReplyDeleteI married a Muslim. We've been married two years...the happiest years of my life. Wish I could tell you all about my abusive American "Christian husband, but we'll save that for another time
ReplyDeleteI hope it stays happy for you as mine seemed happy for the first two years even three then my world got torn part... Just be careful
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ReplyDeletethey are all trash and insecure. abusive liars and delusional by all means.
ReplyDeleteyup
Deletethey are all trash and insecure. abusive liars and delusional by all means.
ReplyDeleteI am British woman and have been married to Muslim Pakistani from a small village of main channu for 7 years we have a 6 year old daughter together but through out those years of marriage to Tariq Ali he has Cheated with his ex wife back at home for 3 years behind my back pushed by his family back home and all trust was lost to the point I asked him not to go home without me because I could not trust him or his family, he has disrespected my thoughts and feelings everytime if I ever ask anything of him he does the total oppersite he has no loyalty no honesty as in the and I caught him in a lie every two weeks. He has put everyone and everything before me and his daughter even his friend Awais mushtaq that messaged him 21 times a day that's not including calls and that's every day of the week. He used to go out with his friend every night not coming home till 11.30pm and Leaving at 6.30 am sometimes waking our daughter up because he had not seen her in days .... He has JD me beg for the things that should be natural in a marriage trust, loyalty ,honesty and respect And the worst is he thinks he's done nothing wrong. Three weeks ago he sneaked on the plane an went home without me dispite what I asked him and what scares me is that could have been with my daughter and I prob would have never seen her again as he has made freets in past... So now I'm going to make sure my daughter is safe and get a divorce . he has pig me through hell I am now suffering with anxiety and depression and under councillor.
ReplyDeleteLadys there was so many signs and things said I let for over my head until things happened and then it all went clicking into place .. I gave him chance after chance for 5 years ... Follow your gut in stinks if it don't add up your probably right.
ReplyDeleteI believe it all. I haven’t been in a relationship with a Pakistani man however since late December I’ve been In shared housing with one. He’s a spoiled brat. Certainly a mama’s boy, and daddy’s, too. He calls them everyday and talks to them for several hours. He doesn’t have a job; he’s taking several grad courses. He could get a part time job since he’s worked in the US previously. He doesn’t contribute to the shared cleaning or house upkeep unless he is told. He’s editing for a woman in the house to pick up after him. He is home all day long only to have to cook his strong smelling dishes at 10 pm. And, he has never offered his dishes if another person is in the kitchen. He doesn’t clean after himself since he’s used to having a woman in the house do it. Very obsessive too. Has to analyze numerous reviews for weeks before buying a $60 item. He always is concerned when a new male moves in since he sits down to urinate. The standing up method of other cultures violates his bathroom preferences. Of course his cooking habits must be halal. I spent much time with a Saudi Arabian family in the 80s. They were Sunni and not into that halal stuff. I’d say they were rather Americanized and even after the attacks, the main person I knew worked with the US government in engineering matters. This guy is just spoiled. He also has to argue over everything. He never believed anything I’d say regarding something news, medical or business related. He always questioned what I knew. Of course. I’m a woman. And he didn’t get his news from a news site; he got it from SNL. He refuses to see a physician over circulatory issues. I suspect he’s afraid he might get an American woman physician. He has turned me off from the Pakistani culture and even the religion. I’ve studied a few courses in Indian history during my grad program in history and I’ve communicated with many Indians. I can understand the continual rift between Pakistan and India due to the bellicose and controlling manner of Pakistanis. Thankfully, in a week I leave the house returning to my own apartment. I decided a month ago I’d rather spend $300 more a month than live with certain cultures.
ReplyDeleteHow do you get away from a muslim man who constantly puts you down, harrasses your family if you do not pick up his calls, tells you he will kill you, or tells you to kill yourself. How does one escape this? How do you get away from two years of abuse? I have never met a more controlling human being ever. I moved to another province to get away. Ive changed my number but he emails me or calls my work. I am going insane and have never felt so helpless and worthless.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are safe now.
DeleteOmg Well Read that is exactly what it is. He argues about every single thing and questions every single thing what a woman has to say .Talks a lot. Only would listen to himself and thinks he is a genius when in fact all his ideas are just parroted from what little he can gather from his friends' discussions. I cannot wait for the day to finally be rid of such burden.
ReplyDeleteI can't say all Pak men are abusers but I met one, and I can say he plays with my feelings and how? He sugar my ear and I opened my life and now he is playing using my fears and doubts,I think and I feel Pak men grow up thinking that women have a "tiny brain" and feeling better than women, after almost 2 years I realized that he is a narcissist and he discarded me, money was always a subject but I didn't understand why he was so interested in my work and how much money my ex husband had to pay,I felt like in heaven and suddenly I was in hell, be careful girls ��
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